THE HEART

The heart is like a room: with a door to enter or exit. Some people stand in the door way for too long procrastinating; “Do I go in or do I stay out”? We can only accommodate the presence for a while, before we make a decision.

Do you want to come inside? Be my guest “mi casa , su casa”. Grab a seat and make yourself comfortable. Do you want a drink of  water or a cup of  tea? What kind of music do you like: Jazz, Afrobeat, Hip Hop, R n B or you like the kind that serenades?

Let me indulge you in a little stimulating, intellectual discussion. Let’s get down to brass tacks: What do you consider fun?... I would be open with you; as long as you keep it real with me, I’ll keep it hundred. You know the type right?  TITANIC: “ You jump, I jump” that kind of thing.

If you had a nice time you can sleep over or come back another day. You want to spend the weekend? It’s all good, knock yourself out. Leave a change of clothes or two or maybe three. Feel free to drop in anytime just give me a heads up, okay? You might need a key, no problems you can have the spare one.

But remember one thing and respect it: It’s my heart, my sanctuary and my rules so take good care of it. Nurture it and cherish every second, every minute and every hour spent here. It has an elastic limit, so please don’t overstretch it, because like a rubber band it will snap.

Leave it wholesome and in the condition you met it; inviting and happy so that if you ever want to leave, another person will appreciate it. Or I might be pushed to keep it under lock and key and refuse access to the other people.

Do not stand by the door way; one foot in and the other out inadvertently or not concealing the vision for the would be guest. It’s either you are in or you are out, because there are other people waiting, some patiently and others impatiently.

They are curious to know what is in the inner chambers of the heart. Willing to take the chance of the sacrifice, the adventure the uncertainty of it all.The waiting is like a veiled dress: it heightens the interest, the yearning to open Pandora’s box, the desire to eat the forbidden fruit.

There’s no 100% guarantee that you’ll find love. You can only get what you bring into the heart, it’s like your reflection in the mirror. When you smile, it smiles back at you. And when you frown, it frowns back at you.

So if your heart is filled with bitterness, resentment, pain, anger and pride you will only attract the same. You see no matter how clean a house is, if you walk into it with mud covered shoes and dusty clothes, you’ll mess up the house...

DOTTED PRESENTIMENTS

 

The phone barely rang when she yanked it from the charging point; she was sitting close with her eyes full of expectation.

Tears welled up in her eyes, making them look misty, but it refused to drop. Her hope, shattered like broken glass. It wasn’t his call, he hadn’t called for three days now. Not even a message or a chat…a tear escapes from her eyes as she blinked, and finds its way into her glass of  lemon water.

They had a little quarrel over the phone and she hung up on him. A move she regretted and wished she could turn back the hands of time.

The silent treatment was unbearable, agonizing, and tearful. If only she could have kept her cool a little longer. She had the upper hand; after all, he had called to apologize for what he had said earlier.

God! Please come to my rescue, my ego took the best of me, and i wanted more…uncontrollable sobs wracked her body as she held onto her phone. She had pretended to be angry: raised her voice and said some unsavory things, then hung up. Why? Why? Why!?... as she continues to sob.

And my foolish pride won’t allow me call back. I feel like dying, my chest is burning and my heart is about to explode…somebody help me.

 No, I can’t bear it anymore, I have to swallow my pride and call him. It won’t add any calories to my body. Phone in hand and her heart in her mouth, she dials his number and it rang but no answer. Oooooohh! He wants to get back at me by not picking his calls right? I would call him again. Then I would be satisfied that i made an effort. I would just hope and pray he calls back. She sobs, I miss him so much…

 She connects with the second call. And as she hears his voice, her heart skipped a beat. She felt a little excited, remorseful and a loss for words. She managed to get the words out…Hello!

A terrible screeching sound was heard, and shortly after that she heard him shout Jesus! Then an explosive sound from the impact of maybe cars or something, then all communications was lost…John! John!! John!!! She called out but got no response. 

The call was still open and time counting, but still no voice from his end.

In a state of panic induced confusion, she cut the call and broke down in tears. She got up and ran towards the exit door, hesitated and dialed again. The phone rang on but no answer. She tried five times over, there was still no response. She started hyperventilating and needed to use the bathroom…Fearing for the worst and praying inside her heart.

He picks up the car keys from the sofa, hits the light switch and locks the door absentmindedly. His mind has been clouded with thoughts of events of the last seventy-two hours. Looking unkempt; with an unshaved beard, a slacked neck t-shirt, a pair of dirty jeans and sneakers.

He has been hitting the bottle in the past few days. And was going out to replenish the bottle of  vodka. Under the influence he gunned his car right through the intersection, oblivious of the traffic light as he narrowly missed hitting a bus. But he was very high and deep in thoughts to notice what happened.

Nneka is just hard headed for no good reasons, he thought out loud. Imagine, dropping the call on me, after I had called to apologize for our verbal fight. What does she want? Three days in a row still no word from her. Why am I even worried? Oh God! Why am I even thinking of her?

No, I won’t call until she calls. I have been civil and thoughtful enough to have reached out. For once let her get of her high horse, haba! But, I miss her so much…damn! I can’t understand it. Even with her short comings she has her beautiful sides too.

His phone rings and he dips his hand into his pocket.Before he could get it out, the first call ended. His eyes lit up together with the phone screen light and he smiles, the caller was Nneka!

In his excited state, he lost his co-ordination and focus. It happened so fast, that all he could say was hello! And the next minute, J-E-S-U-S!!... Immediately after the intersection  he was trying to negotiate a turn to the right, but got distracted by the call and took his eyes of the road. 

When he looked up an SUV was coming from the right. As he attempted to step on the brakes, he stepped on the accelerator instead. His car rammed into the SUV with a heavy impact causing a domino effect with other cars. Six cars in a row were involved, with cars behind narrowly missing them by a hairs breath.

He was hanging upside down held up by the seatbelt, after the car had somersaulted a couple of times. Blood rushing to his head, he was barely conscious and slowly passing out. All he could hear was the familiar ringtone, one he had gotten used to: Jordin spark’s “No air” as the lyrics resounded in his head; “if I should die before I wake it’s cause you took my breath away”…how ironical? He knew it was Nneka calling, but he could not answer. And then, then… everything went blank.